3 posts tagged “reflections”

Humble Me

I was in the car the other day and this song came on. It made me stop and think. Its not like it was the first time I heard the song. I've heard it plenty of times but the other day I listened to the song - to the words. And the song put me in my place. Every now and then music will do that to me, put me in my place, put things into perspective. Always right on time.

"Don't let me forget who I am"
"Remind me of the man who has nothing to eat"

As I am going through my day to day routine, with my day to day stresses about this, that and the other, "Humble Me" put me in my place. My worries are nothing to those who are really struggling. My kids have food to eat every day while whole countries are starving. And no matter how bad things might seem, they have a way of working out for the best. Sometimes you need to step back to look at the big picture. It really puts things into perspective.

"Remind me to be grateful for what I already have"

As my worries have consumed me over the past few weeks I forget that I am blessed. I forget that there is so much good going on in my life. And as I stress out over what might happen I forget that things could be worse. I forget to say thank you for the blessings that already surround me, for the miracles I have received this year alone.

I have a lot going on in my life right now. I'm going through a divorce, starting school again in a couple weeks, started a new job a few weeks ago, moving this summer. Juggling raising two kids, making sure their needs are met. I'm busy. I get worn out. I worry how I'll manage everything on my plate. I sometimes get to the place of woe is me, no one has it as bad as I do. Ummm, but that's not true. That's the disconnected from self me, the me who has misplaced her connection to Spirit. Who's forgotten that I am where I am because Spirit has been there with me all the way, guiding me with gentle (and not so gentle) reminders when I get off track. Then I step back, take a few deep breaths and remember to hand over to the universe whatever I can't handle. When my  load gets too heavy to carry, I hand off some to the universe knowing that a power beyond me has never let me down. I pause and reflect on the blessings I've been given. I pack the worries away, whatever doesn't feed my spirit, whatever doesn't serve me. I'll enjoy what life has already brought my way.

Everything is connected. It's more than being positive, its about being present. It's about stepping back and looking at the big picture and seeing reality for what it really is. It's not just about my little problems that my mind likes to  make mountains out of. It's about remembering my place in this puzzle called life. It's about making my contribution to the world and not getting bogged down by every day issues. For there will always be issues, there will always be something to want. There will always be comething. How you look at that something is what matters. Are you looking at the bigger picture or your own version that doesn't really serve you? Learning to recognize the difference is paramount to leading a fulfilled life. Don't get bogged down by whatever life throws at you. It's all temporary, it'll blow over eventually. Really, it will.

A few months down the road I'll be settled in my new place, my divorce will be finalized, I'll be juggling the kids and work and school. It'll be all good, it always is. These hurdles will be surpassed and eventually new ones will show up to replace them. It's all temporary, the up and down cycle of life. Enjoy it while it's good, when it's bad know that it will soon pass. Stay humble, we are all blessed. We are all God's children.

"Don't let me forget who I am"

We all need reminders from time to time.

"Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you...If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it." -- Emmet Fox

I found this quote today. And as I've been told before, I didn't find it by accident...

I didn't get it. The supposedly guaranteed job fell through. *sigh* But doors open and they close. Soon the right door will open for me. I was mad about it for a little while. That's until I realized I didn't really want to work there in the first place. It's the same environment as a previous job and I vowed I wouldn't return to a place like that. And I won't.

The only reason why I convinced myself that it would work is because it seemed like an obvious transition... just follow the clients. And it took a lot of work to convince myself that I would be able to tolerate that atmosphere again.

Getting mad about it won't solve anything. It definitely won't get me any closer to another job. It's just another door that was closed and so I'm moving on. Over time the realization will hit that a mistake was made but by then I will have moved on to something better. That's why the door was closed in the first place. Because something better is in the works.

The fact that my mother is full of positive advice... *blink blink* thanks to Oprah is all at once weird yet reassuring. If she's full of positivity something hella good is going to come out of all of this. My path is veering into a new direction now, one in which I'm not too sure where I'm going. But fear is not coming along with me on this ride.

Life has something in store for me. My job... I let it consume me. I'm way overdue for moving on. When I left my last job I knew then that I needed to get out of this industry. But I felt that I needed this job. So now the universe is taking it from me. This is the clue that I need to refocus my priorites. I had been putting my job first and almost everything else on hold. And not getting the "guaranteed" job - it's just unmistakeable proof that its time for me to move in a new direction... through a new door.

It's the end of the year... ok technically beginning of 08... and I need to reflect on where I've been and where I'm headed. Reflect... not dwell. There's a difference between the two. And even though the '07 didn't go exactly as planned, it went the way it should have because I'm where I need to be at this point in time. And by that I mean the lessons needed to be learned. People needed to leave my life in order for me to make room for new people to enter into my life. Especially my newfound twitter fam *smooches*. Things needed to be dealt with and I had some growing up to do.

I had to journey through the pain to return to my joy. A difficult process but lessons learned don't require repeating. Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor. (Thank you Ms Keys) So I have dropped baggage that has been carried longer than needed. I turned 30 which of itself didn't impart a magical dose of wisdom on the exact day of my birth but I have changed. I am a different person than I was a year ago - stronger - I can see those differences clearly and the progress I've made this year has been good.

There's still some work to be done. I'm not perfect, yet at the same time not striving for perfection either. More changes are needed and I am no longer afraid of what life could possibly throw at me because this year alone has been one long test of what I'm capable of. I now know what I can handle and it always ends up being more than what I give myself due credit for. Whatever doesn't kill me can only make me stronger. I have more faith in myself and my faith in God, in spirit is unbreakable. I now know I am loved unconditionally because I am the one giving that love to myself. God is within me helping me shine my light and spread my love and my wings, dissipating any fears that might still linger in the darkness. I'm loving life now and am so grateful to have made it through this year even with the lesson I had to learn.

luv Sels